Call Anxiety

I sweat and sweat and sweat. Blood gallops through my ventricles.

The air trapped against my scalp grows damp with heat, so that my skull is unpleasantly sultry.

My nail tip strikes the numbers, thop thop, while the edge of the finger pad gently gives into each digit. 5. 1. 2. 3… What if what ifwhatifwhatifwhat if…

Call uncertainty. Calls happen in real time, no time to think to carefully match words, like email, no wait—calls are in the moment, there could be an unfriendly voice—calls are closer to humanhuman interaction. So close too scary.  Continue reading

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The Resiliency of Cockroaches

1) Cockroaches can climb walls.

I could feel the crackle. My knuckles pierced the round rim of the cup, my shoulder driving the bottom deeper into the shower floor. Grind. Crack. Geez. I was naked and it was night and I was sick of the cockroaches.

I stared up, craning away from the ugliness under my hand. The ceiling was blank and a sad variety of off-white. I traced the cracks in the paint and tried not to think about bugs. The air was chilly and smelled mustily of coconut shampoo and dried water. There was mold on the back wall.

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